I'm still amazed by how quickly things can go south during pregnancy. I use the word 'amazed' now, but I definitely would substitute 'terrified' when it occurred with the birth of my son Thor. It just goes to show that life can be fragile and carpe diem isn't just a trite phrase.

My prenatal visits started at 8 weeks. Weight gain, blood pressure and fetal growth were normal at every visit. Of course, I was surprised when I started experiencing swelling in my legs and feet towards the end of my 26th week. By the 27th week the swelling had me alarmed, as it had moved into my face and hands. I talked to my doctor and she thought it might be too much sodium, so I reduced the salt intake but saw no improvement.

At 28 weeks I woke up with a terrible headache and my eyes swollen shut. At the time, I thought it was one of my migraines, but I was so sick I couldn't leave the bathroom. That Sunday evening I was feeling better and decided to do some research in my Mayo Clinic Health Book. I started reading about toxemia (Pre-eclampsia) and realized that I had 7 out of the 9 symptoms. The only two I didn't have, luckily, were seizures and stroke. I called the doctor the next morning and told her that I thought my blood pressure might be high so she asked me to come in to the clinic. When I arrived at the clinic the nurse took my blood pressure and her eyes just about popped out of her head - it's a look I'll never forget. Moments later I was on my way to the Salem, OR hospital by ambulance.

This is when things seemed to accelerate at the speed of light. Upon arriving at the hospital, I was immediately given steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs and was put on a magnesium drip. The staff decided to transfer me to Legacy Emanuel Hospital in Portland, which had better facilities to deal with the problems of premature birth. Ultrasounds were ordered every 6 hours, and with the help of Emanuel's staff we were able to delay delivery for 4 days. On July 1, 1999 my blood pressure spiked and the baby was under stress. Thor Bradley Vasend was delivered at 3:06 pm more than 11 weeks early.

Thor let out the smallest of cries immediately, yet he looked so lifeless. To be honest with you, when the doctor brought him over by my face so I could see him I didn't want to look. Given the dangerous circumstances under which he was delivered, I just felt like he would never make it. His Apgar scores were low and he was unresponsive and dusky. He received bag and mask ventilation, and then was intubated. Umbilical catheters were placed and surfactant administered. He weighed 1 pound 12 ounces and was 13 inches long. Everything was stacked against his surviving the ordeal.

Thor spent the next 10 weeks in the NICU where he received around the clock care. He was given three doses of surfactant for his underdeveloped lungs, steroids to help with growth, and blood transfusions - a teaspoon at a time. For every step forward we took two steps back. His breathing was a constant struggle, due to the chronic lung disease he had developed. He also had a small hole in his heart that the doctors thought would close on its own. Each daily drive I made from Salem to Portland was its own eternity, and each time I couldn’t help but think wonder if this would be his last day. I only hoped I could be there with him.

Thor, though, surprised us all and was released on September 7, 1999 at 4 pounds 8 ounces. He came home but had to remain on nasal-delivered oxygen and a monitor. It was an absolute joy to have him home with us, but it didn’t get any easier for him. He attended weekly doctor's appointments for the first three weeks, and then went to every other week. To avoid germs we would enter through a backdoor and go straight into an exam room. The doctor suggested that Thor receive the respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) vaccinations to minimize infections of the lungs and respiratory tract. Despite the vaccinations and our efforts to keep him away from the public, Thor ended up in the hospital at 6 months with RSV. This was the first of 3 stays in the hospital due to breathing difficulties - his scarred lungs couldn't even handle a common cold. As it that weren't enough, at the age of 18 months Thor had to have an undeveloped testicle removed. I was absolutely amazed when he pulled through the surgery like a trooper. That's when I knew that someway, somehow Thor would survive.

Today Thor is a happy, healthy 6 year old. He is enjoying 1st grade and just finished his first season of basketball. They went 5-2. You would never know by looking at him that he started out so small. We are very, very lucky that Thor doesn't have any lifelong complications due to his prematurity. As for me, although the physical scars have healed on Thor there are still emotional wounds for me. I still find myself jolting out of bed in the middle of the night to make sure Thor is breathing. As a mother, I don't know if that fear will ever completely go away.

My doctors recommended that I not have anymore children due to my sudden and severe case of Toxemia. Unfortunately a cause and cure for toxemia has still not been found, but with continued research from the March of Dimes hopefully it's just a matter of time. It does sadden me that I can’t have anymore children, but it makes me that much more grateful for our little miracle Thor. Carpe diem.